I don't blame Montezuma, I blame Cortes

Watching the waves go by, unridden, with my newfound friend.

I just got back from a little surf vacation in Mexico. I felt good for about a day. Then came a case of tourista, or 'Zuma's Revenge. I think it was some shitty tacos. Lots of water washed right through me over the next week, and I didn't even have the energy to surf. Vacation down the toilet.

I don't particularly believe that 'Zuma itself is that appalling. Watery shits happen plenty in the U.S. (We can blame Taco Bell for roughly half of all diarrhea, and they're not Mexican.) What's more frustrating is the state of affairs in Mexico. I mean, not only is any non-fruit edible always suspect, but what are you going to wash anything dirty with? How are you even supposed to clean food when the municipal water is a petri dish of gastrointestinal demon spawn?

Let's be real: you still can't drink the tap water. Think about that. What does that say? The States got their water sorted out in, what, the '40s? '30s? '20s? Mexico hasn't made any progress on the clean water front in decades. I wasn't staying in the Four Seasons; I wasn't staying in some ghetto either. But no one there gets good tap water. It's a punchline: Don't drink the water. And will Mexico ever have clean tap water? When do you think that'll happen? I'll take that bet.

After a short vacation (probably my tenth one in Mexico), I don't want to live there. (Rare, because I typically want to stay wherever I am on vacation.) I don't even care to go back anytime soon. I understand why its citizens flow to El Norte, too. Though I'm sure there are reasons beyond our tap water. (And as an immigrant, I also know some of those reasons.)

This goat is a metaphor for how I feel about my job.

Mexicans are dope, the food is still my favorite, I dig scorpions and tarantulas; but, sorry, Mexico as a country is struggling.

I took this photo in Michoacan a few years ago, when I wasn't sick.