You are what you eat, junkie.

I can't really watch Adam Richman's show—Man Vs Food—where he challenges himself to eat ungodly amounts of unhealthy food. I'm guessing the show is just for shock value, kind of like Jackass for gluttony. Frankly, it's grotesque to watch someone eat so much they're uncomfortably sweating and regurgitating; it stuffs the pleasure right out of food.

It's been three years since he started doing the show, and every time I pass through the Travel Channel, he's looking more and more like a fat heroin junkie. (The photos below don't at all illustrate how terrible he looks; they're just what I could find on the interwebs.) I'm concerned. If he doesn't die before next season, he should look into eating a salad or smoothie. No one should age that badly in three years.

 

Before. (Get it? Man V donut.)

The scarf that you wish covered your chins.

Still bummed...

Still bummed that I didn't get The Red Bulletin job at Red Bull. Not that I'm a big consumer of energy drinks, but Red Bull just does some fantastic stuff—in the literal sense of fantasy. Check out the mini velodrome.



Plus anything that works against Monster or Rockstar energy drinks (and associated bros with flame tattoos) is great to me.